Rocky and Honeysuckle
by Dead Composer
Summary: Can Rocky and his new partner, Honeysuckle the Moose, stop an evil clone of Bullwinkle from taking over the world?
1. Chapter 1

This fic is rated PG for violence.

Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward.

In this story, the voice of the Narrator is represented by **_bold italic text_**.

**_

* * *

When we last left our heroes, they had just saved Earth from the invasion of the moon people. Gidney and Cloyd, no longer able to go home to the moon, wandered off to Hollywood in hopes of reviving their show business career. The experimental android Wunderkind had returned to its creators at Florence Liverwurst National Laboratory. Our heroes, learning that their old friend Mr. Peabody is now working as a government scientist, have gone to visit him at his laboratory in Santa Clausa, California._**

Rocky and Bullwinkle are standing in front of the entrance to a futuristic building. The whitewashed metal door is covered with electronic devices, including a keypad and a handprint recognizer.

"Gee, Rock," says Bullwinkle, "how're we gonna get through all this security?"

"You could try knocking," suggests his squirrel pal.

Bullwinkle raps on the door three times, and it slides open vertically. The moose and squirrel are greeted by Mr. Peabody's pet boy, Sherman. "Bullwinkle! Rocky!" he greets them excitedly. "I haven't seen you two in ages! Come in!"

Rocky and Bullwinkle follow Sherman into the laboratory. The large room is filled with all sorts of inventions and devices. The familiar Waybac Machine sits in a corner gathering dust, and a similar but more modern device stands next to it. Mr. Peabody is hunched over a table, wearing a visor and tinkering with some electronic circuits. He pushes up his visor when he sees the visitors enter.

"Welcome, gentlemen," says the canine genius. "Bullwinkle, please be careful with your antlers."

"Uh, why?" The moose glances about as if expecting to see something hazardous, and his antler breaks the head off a ceiling-mounted sprinkler. Within moments, water is spraying all over Rocky, Bullwinkle, and several inventions.

"Oh, dear," mutters Peabody. "Shut off the water, will you, Sherman?"

"Okay, Mr. Peabody," says his boy, who quickly pulls a switch on the wall, stopping the flow of water from the sprinkler system.

"Gosh, I hope we didn't ruin anything, Mr. Peabody," says Rocky apologetically.

"Yeah," says Bullwinkle, who then shakes himself vigorously, sending water droplets flying all over the laboratory.

Peabody wipes the drops of water from his glasses. "Not to worry. Those devices are merely failed prototypes."

"Prototypes of what?" asks Rocky.

"I'll let Sherman field that question," says Peabody.

"I've invented a revolutionary new device called the Dublinator," Sherman announces proudly.

"You invented something, Sherman?" says Rocky in surprise.

"I have a Ph.D. in quantum physics," Sherman points out. "It's been more than forty years since I was drawn, you know."

"You haven't aged a day," marvels Bullwinkle.

"Neither have we, Bullwinkle," Rocky reminds his moose buddy. "We're cartoon characters."

Sherman and Peabody lead Bullwinkle and Rocky to a machine that consists of a pair of tall glass booths attached to a computerized control panel. "This is the Dublinator," Sherman explains. It can make an exact duplicate of any person."

"That's amazing!" says Rocky.

"Does it work?" asks Bullwinkle.

"We're still testing it," replies Peabody. "The prototypes made duplicates who either melted or blew up, but this version shows promise. I've remained stable for over a week already."

As Rocky and Bullwinkle shoot confused looks at Mr. Peabody, another white dog with glasses appears through a side door. "I am the real Mr. Peabody," the dog identifies himself.

"And I am a duplicate," says the first Peabody. "Not only do I exactly resemble the original, but I possess all of his knowledge and faculties as well."

Rocky and Bullwinkle watch in stupefied wonderment as the two Peabodies come together and shake hands. "Hokey smoke!" exclaims Rocky. "I don't believe my eyes!"

"What are you gonna do with it, Mr., uh..." Bullwinkle looks back and forth, unable to tell which Peabody is real.

"The Dublinator will eliminate the most basic, fundamental threat to the survival of humanity," proclaims the Peabody clone.

"Reality TV?" asks Rocky.

"I wish," says the real Peabody. "My clone is referring to the ignorance and lack of productivity resulting from improper schooling. No longer will we have to pump billions of dollars into a failing education system."

"Correction," says the Peabody clone. "Those billions of dollars are being spent on the military. That's why the education system is failing."

"Right," says the real Peabody, looking somewhat embarrassed.

The Peabody clone continued the explanation. "What he's trying to say is, instead of having children and putting them through years of schooling, you can simply create a copy of yourself that has all of your knowledge."

"Can I try it?" asks Bullwinkle.

"Certainly," says the real Peabody. "Just step into the booth on the left, and be careful with the antlers."

Bullwinkle cautiously steps into the glass booth on the left side of the device. "Do you think you can handle the controls this time, Mr. Peabody?" Sherman asks his colleague.

"I...think so," says the real Peabody as he closes the glass door to seal Bullwinkle inside.

"Here goes nothing," says the Peabody clone. "Or rather, double or nothing."

The real Peabody twists a dial on the control panel, and the Dublinator begins to vibrate and hum. "Whoooaaa...I feel funny..." says Bullwinkle.

A foggy shape starts to appear in the glass booth on the right; its outline is similar to Bullwinkle's. Then something goes wrong...

"Wait, this can't be right," says the real Peabody as he examines one of the gauges.

Sherman takes a look and gasps. "Omigosh! The photonic charge density is outside of the safety threshold! Shut it down, quickly!"

The cloudy object in the right booth turns dark brown and becomes more detailed. "Too late!" exclaims the real Peabody. "It's forming!"

"Imbecile!" the Peabody clone complains. "You should have let me do it!"

"We've never duplicated anything as big as Bullwinkle before," reflects Sherman as an exact copy of Bullwinkle appears in the right booth.

**_What have Sherman and the two Mr. Peabodies created? Find out in our next exciting episode, "Deuce Moose", or, "I Think I'm a Clone Now"!_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**When we last left our heroes, Sherman's new invention, the Dublinator, had created an exact copy of Bullwinkle!**_

The two Peabodies open the glass doors, allowing the confused Bullwinkle and his equally confused duplicate to step out of the booths. The two moose gaze at each other in wonder.

"It's like looking in a mirror," the real Bullwinkle remarks. "A mirror that adds fifty pounds!"

"Idiot!" says the Bullwinkle clone sharply. "I weigh exactly as much as you do!"

"Well, I hide it better," boasts the real Bullwinkle.

"They look alike," remarks Sherman, "but something's different about them. I can't quite put my finger on it."

"Put your finger on this, brat!" says the Bullwinkle clone, sticking his rear end at the boy.

"Hey, that wasn't nice!" complains Rocky.

"Neither was this!" says the Bullwinkle clone. Lowering his head, he charges at the Dublinator machine, knocking it over. The glass booths shatter, and the control panel starts to let off sparks.

"Stop!" orders the real Peabody. "That device cost millions of dollars in taxpayer money to construct!"

"Who do I look like, the Secretary of the Treasury?" says the Bullwinkle clone as he starts to run about the lab, waving his antlers about and knocking over everything in sight.

"Stop what you're doing!" commands the Peabody clone. "You're destroying everything!"

While the real Bullwinkle, Rocky, the two Peabodies, and Sherman chase him, the Bullwinkle clone becomes curious about a fancy-looking device that resembles a shoulder-mounted rifle with a glass lens on the end. He lifts it from the table, puts it over his shoulder, and points the business end at Rocky. "Hey, what does this thing do?" he wonders.

The real Peabody, struck with terror, leaps at Rocky and pushes him out of the way just as the Bullwinkle clone pulls the trigger. A laser beam emits from the device and hits Peabody, vaporizing him into oblivion.

"Great Scott!" cries the Peabody clone. "My original!"

Rocky, Sherman, the real Bullwinkle, and the Peabody clone gaze in shock and disbelief at the spot where Peabody disintegrated. The Bullwinkle clone, his face twisted into a mask of hatred, aims the weapon's nozzle at the real Bullwinkle. "One of me is enough!" he barks menacingly.

"Don't shoot!" Rocky pleads. "If he dies, you'll die too!"

"Huh?" grunts the confused Bullwinkle clone.

Catching Rocky's hint, the Peabody clone collapses to the floor and convulses in mock agony. "Oh, the pain!" he wails. "It's unbearable! Kill me, please!"

As the Bullwinkle clone nervously witnesses the Peabody clone's performance, Rocky soars into the air and rams him, knocking the weapon from his shoulder. The Bullwinkle clone turns and rushes toward the main door. Rocky, Sherman, the real Bullwinkle, and the Peabody clone pursue him, but the broken weapon on the floor explodes in front of them, sending up a shower of smoke and sparks. By the time it clears, the main door is sliding closed, and the Bullwinkle clone is long gone.

"Curses!" grouses the Peabody clone. "He escaped! There's no telling what he'll do now!"

"What is this thing?" asks Rocky, looking over the ruined weapon.

"It's a molecular destabilizer," Sherman explains. "I'm afraid the real Mr. Peabody is not coming back." He takes off his glasses and wipes the tears from his eyes.

"I'm all that's left of him now," the Peabody clone laments. "If I don't remain stable, one of the greatest scientific minds of all time will be lost forever."

"Can't we fix the machine and make another copy of you?" asks Bullwinkle.

"We can, but if we make copies of copies, they'll start to degenerate."

"You should have made it so it doesn't explode when it's dropped," says Rocky, glancing down at the destabilizer.

"Yeah," says Bullwinkle. "That'd be a lot safer."

"None of us is safe now," says the Peabody clone. "I'm afraid Sherman and I have created a monster...a duplicate of Bullwinkle who is pure evil!"

"He has all your stupidity and dumb luck!" Sherman remarks to Bullwinkle.

"And he's not afraid to kill!" adds Rocky.

"He must be stopped!" declared the Peabody clone.

_**Less than an hour later, our heroes arrive at the Southern California regional headquarters of the Department of Defending Everything We Hold Dear, also known as DDEWHD (pronounced "dude").**_

Rocky and Bullwinkle are standing in front of the desk of Mr. Shadowy, the DDEWHD regional administrator, who is talking to someone on the phone. "Mm-hmm...right...thank you, goodbye." He hangs up. "Your man's been sighted in a Santa Clausa china shop. He smashed the entire inventory. The police showed up, but every time they took a shot at him, he ducked just as the bullet went over."

"That takes years of practice, you know," says Bullwinkle.

"Boys, I don't need to tell you how serious this situation is," says Mr. Shadowy. "If not for Bullwinkle's tireless defense of liberty and justice, we'd all be speaking Pottsylvanian today. And now this fiend is on the loose, turning everything that's good and great about Bullwinkle to purposes of evil. After some deliberation, I've decided to replace one of you with a new partner for the duration of this mission."

"You must be joking!" exclaims the shocked Bullwinkle. "I can't do this without Rocky! He's a valued member of the team! He can fly and stuff!"

"No, Bullwinkle," says Mr. Shadowy. "I was talking about you."

Bullwinkle's jaw drops.

"Your evil clone thinks like you do," explains Mr. Shadowy, "and he's familiar with how you and Rocky work together. If Rocky goes after him with a different partner, he won't be able to predict their moves."

Bullwinkle is devastated. "But...but that's just not fair!"

"Who's the new partner, Mr. Shadowy?" asks Rocky.

Mr. Shadowy presses a button on his desk. A door opens, and through it strolls a she-moose, about the same height as Bullwinkle, but with smaller antlers. On her head she wears a yellow felt fedora with a red ribbon. She stands in front of Rocky and Bullwinkle, and regards them curiously.

"Boys," says Mr. Shadowy, "I'd like you to meet Honeysuckle the Moose."

"Charmed," says Honeysuckle, speaking with a refined British accent.

"Honeysuckle spent sixteen years as an Interpol agent before agreeing to lend her expertise to the U.S. Government," explains Mr. Shadowy.

"But...but you're a woman!" exclaims the astonished Rocky.

"How could you tell?" says the she-moose sarcastically.

"Well, you're naked, for one thing."

"Humina humina humina..." mumbles the wide-eyed Bullwinkle.

"So what's wrong with being a woman, flyboy?" Honeysuckle asks Rocky.

"Uh, nothing," Rocky answers. "It's just that...there's only one woman on this show, and she's evil."

"A lot of things have changed since the 1960's," Honeysuckle points out. "Now, if there are no more gender-based objections, let's get on with the mission briefing."

"Humina humina humina..." Bullwinkle mumbles on.

_**Will Rocky and his new partner be able to stop the evil Bullwinkle clone? Will Bullwinkle ever stop saying "humina humina humina"? Find out in our next thrilling episode...**_

"Humina humina humina..."

_**Enough already!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**In our last episode, Rocky was given a new partner, Honeysuckle the Moose, to assist him in the capture of the evil Bullwinkle clone. However, the real Bullwinkle didn't take kindly to being left out of the action!**_

Honeysuckle is driving a green station wagon along the highway, with Rocky in the passenger seat. They pass a sign that says, SANTA CLAUSA, 7 MILES. Heavy traffic flows around them as the she-moose recounts her history.

"I was drawn to be an agent-slash-love-interest in a British spy cartoon called Danger Moose, but some idiot typesetter changed 'moose' to 'mouse', and you know the rest of that story. So I decided, if I couldn't be a cartoon agent, I'd train to become a real-life agent."

"Gee, Bullwinkle and I never had training," reflects Rocky.

"That's because the Department never really looked upon the Pottsylvanians as a credible threat," Honeysuckle explains. "They figured, if the two of you could thwart Fearless Leader's schemes again and again through sheer dumb luck, then why ruin a successful formula?"

_**Unbeknownst to them, Bullwinkle is also on his way to Santa Clausa, determined to bring in the evil duplicate on his own!**_

Several miles behind on the same highway, Bullwinkle is driving a red convertible at top speed. "Give my Rocky a new partner, will they?" he says to himself. "I'll teach them a lesson they won't soon remember!" He reflects for a moment. "Sure is windy. I'm glad I 'moosed' my hair before I left."

Minutes later, Rocky and Honeysuckle arrive in downtown Santa Clausa, at the china shop where the Bullwinkle clone had gone on a rampage. The shelves have been emptied, and the owner, an old Chinese woman, is still sweeping up the broken pieces of china.

"Did he say anything while he was smashing your china, ma'am?" Honeysuckle asks the woman.

"He made some very bad puns," the shop owner replies.

"What did he do when he was finished?" Honeysuckle inquires. "Did he say anything about where he was going?"

"He mentioned something about being hungry."

Honeysuckle becomes thoughtful. "Hmm. If I were an evil bull moose in a china shop, where would I go to eat?"

"A donut shop!" Rocky suggests.

"No, too many police." Honeysuckle thinks for a second. "Follow me, Rocky."

Honeysuckle leads Rocky out of the china shop, and they stroll a short distance down the sidewalk, arriving in front of a fast-food joint called Burgers-R-Us. The sign on the door says CLOSED, and the interior of the restaurant resembles a war zone, with food stains on the walls and overturned tables and chairs. A man in a fast-food uniform is scrubbing the walls when he sees Rocky and Honeysuckle approach. "He went that way!" he says, pointing. Rocky and Honeysuckle continue down the street, and the same scene repeats itself at all the restaurants on the block.

"At least we have a trail to follow," says Rocky.

_**Meanwhile, Bullwinkle arrives at the security checkpoint in front of Mr. Peabody's lab.**_

A heavily fortified gate surrounds Peabody's laboratory, and Bullwinkle is walking up to the entrance. "Defeating my evil duplicate will be easier if I equip myself with some high-tech gadgets," he thinks.

The security guard is, as usual, a grizzled old man. "I'm sorry, Mr. Bullwinkle, but with the evil clone at large, the government has chosen to temporarily revoke your security clearance."

Bullwinkle becomes indignant. "What? This is an outrage! I want my taxes back!"

Mr. Peabody, or more accurately his clone, suddenly appears on the other side of the gate. "Please, Mr. Peabody!" Bullwinkle pleads. "You gotta let me in!"

The Peabody clone shakes his head. "Sherman and I are working as hard as we can to repair the Dublinator, and we won't let you come in and destroy everything."

"But I'm the good Bullwinkle!" insists the desperate moose.

"I know," says the Peabody clone sadly as he ambles off.

The disconsolate Bullwinkle walks away from the security checkpoint. "Now I'll have to do battle with my evil duplicate armed with nothing but my hands, feet, and antlers—just like Mother Nature intended."

When he reaches his convertible, he is alarmed to find two police officers standing in front of it. "Wh-what's going on, officers?" he asks nervously.

"We were just going to cite you for double parking," says the first officer, "but then we recognized you as the moose who's been wrecking shops downtown, so now we're going to arrest you."

"You have the right to remain silent," says the second officer. "If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say will be dutifully listened to but ultimately disregarded."

"But...you can't do this to me! I'm Bullwinkle the Moose!"

"Right," says the first officer, "and I'm Arthur the Aardvark. Now come along."

_**As the hapless Bullwinkle is dragged off to the police station, his evil clone continues to wreak havoc in downtown Santa Clausa!**_

The Bullwinkle clone, his stomach grossly swollen, waddles out of a bagel shop, having ingested everything on display, including most of the napkins. The distraught proprietor watches him leave in astonishment. "Oy! I've never seen anyone eat so much! And he didn't even leave a tip!"

Half a block away, the Bullwinkle clone sees four police offers exit a squad car and start to run in his direction. "Cops! I've gotta shake 'em!" He tries to flee, but his overloaded stomach slows him down. "Oh, I can't run in this condition!"

He then notices that he is standing in front of a maternity wear store. "I've got an idea! It's so dumb, it might work!"

Moments later, the four police officers arrive in front of the maternity store. "He went in there!" the first officer informs the others.

"He won't get away this time!" vowed the second officer.

The four officers charge into the store, which is filled with displays of maternity dresses. Several pregnant women are milling around, including a tall one with a huge nose and antlers, dressed in a light blue gown and what appears to be a blond wig. One of the officers accidentally runs into "her". "I'm terribly sorry, ma'am," he says politely. The cross-dressed Bullwinkle clone just giggles and heads for the store exit.

"Those cops will never give up," he thinks, glancing around. "I need to get myself some wheels and hightail it out of this town."

Still in his pregnant woman disguise, the Bullwinkle clone approaches a man who is

returning to his parked car with a bag of clothing items. "Please, sir, help me!" he exclaims in a frantic falsetto. "I'm having a baby!"

"I can see that," says the man, sizing up the moose's distended gut.

"No, I'm having a baby NOW!" The clone starts gasping.

"Okay, okay!" says the suddenly worried man. "I'll give you a ride to the hospital!"

He opens the door of his car and allows the Bullwinkle clone to lie down on the back seat. Then he starts to drive swiftly down the street in the direction of the hospital, while the evil moose gasps and wails as if enduring labor pains. After the man has driven a block, the Bullwinkle clone lets out a sigh of relief and then starts to imitate the sound of a baby crying. Nervous and sweating, the man pulls over to the curb. "Stay calm! I'll get help!" he promises.

The man jumps out of his car and looks around for someone with a cell phone. The Bullwinkle clone climbs out of the back seat, takes over the man's car, and pulls into the street. In his haste, he nearly collides with Rocky and Honeysuckle in their station wagon.

"Hey, where did that lady learn to drive?" complains Rocky.

"Hold it!" says Honeysuckle. "That's no lady!"

As Rocky and Honeysuckle start to pursue the Bullwinkle clone's stolen vehicle, the police car taking the real Bullwinkle to the station has stopped in front of the maternity store. One of the officers in the car is talking to one of the officers who searched the store for the Bullwinkle clone.

"Are you sure it was him?" asks the officer in the car.

"He'd put on a few more pounds," says the officer on the street, "but I'd bet my life he was our moose. We chased him into the maternity store, and then we lost him."

The officer in the car turns to Bullwinkle. "I'm sorry about the mistake. You're free to go."

However, Bullwinkle's sharp eyes have seen a car driven by a moose nearly hit another car driven by a moose a block away. "Follow those cars, officers!" he orders, pointing.

Within moments, the squad car containing Bullwinkle is pursuing the station wagon driven by Honeysuckle, who is chasing the Bullwinkle clone's stolen car.

"Are you sure that's not a lady, Honeysuckle?" asks Rocky.

"One of the first things I learned in agent school was how to spot someone in a stupid disguise," replies Honeysuckle.

As the Bullwinkle clone drives along, oblivious to his pursuers, he spots a road

sign that says, CORPUS CRUSTY, NEXT RIGHT. Crusty..." His tone becomes sinister. "Perfect!"

His car turns off the main highway in the direction of Corpus Crusty, while Rocky and Honeysuckle follow. They are in turn followed by the two police officers and Bullwinkle.

"Omigosh!" exclaims Rocky. "He's headed for Corpus Crusty!"

"Is that a bad thing?" asks Honeysuckle.

"It sure is! Corpus Crusty is a town populated entirely by enemy spies!"

_**What mischief is the evil Bullwinkle clone plotting now? What dangers await our heroes in the spy villa of Corpus Crusty? Find out in our next action-packed episode, "Spy Oh My", or, "It's a Nice Place to Visit, But..."!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**In our last episode, as you recall, the evil Bullwinkle clone was speeding toward the spy town of Corpus Crusty, California, with Rocky and Honeysuckle in hot pursuit. They, in turn, were being followed by the real Bullwinkle and a pair of police officers!**_

"We mustn't lose him!" Rocky urges his new partner. "If he reveals his secrets to the spies, we'll all be in danger!"

"I'm way ahead of you, flyboy," says Honeysuckle confidently.

Rocky glances at the rear-view mirror. "Hey, there's a police car behind us!"

"So what?" remarks Honeysuckle. "They aren't flashing their lights."

"Hey, why aren't you flashing your lights?" Bullwinkle asks the two officers in the police car.

"We don't want to let him know we're following," says the first officer. "That way, we can trace him to his hideout and arrest his accomplices as well."

"But he doesn't have any accomplices!" Bullwinkle insists.

"Don't be ridiculous," says the second officer. "Cartoon characters never work alone."

Several miles away, in a small house in the town of Corpus Crusty, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale are seated on a couch, watching a performance of Mussourgsky's opera "Boris Godunov" on public television. "I just love Russian opera, darlink!" Natasha gushes.

"So do I," says Boris, "but I wish I could get rid of the English subtitles." He repeatedly pushes a button on the remote control, but to no avail.

"This broadcast has been made possible by grants from various large corporations and generous contributions from viewers like you," says the TV announcer.

"Such language!" grouses Natasha. "How can they allow it on TV?"

Boris switches off the TV. "Natasha, darlink, now that we are alone, I have somethink special to give to you." He rises from the couch, bends down on one knee in front of Natasha, and pulls a small plastic box from his pocket. Natasha waits breathlessly.

Suddenly a loud beeping sound emits from Boris' wrist. He pulls up his sleeve to reveal a small TV screen attached to his arm with a leather band.

"Oh, Boris, darlink!" enthuses Natasha. "A wrist TV! I've always wanted one!"

Boris replaces the plastic box in his pocket and pushes a button on the wrist TV, causing the image of Fearless Leader's face to appear on the tiny screen. "Badenov!" barks the monocled spymaster. "A situation has arisen! Turn on the American TV news at once!"

Astonished, Boris seats himself on the couch again and turns on the TV to the news channel. A newswoman appears, with a picture of the Bullwinkle clone in the background. "This just in," she reports. "A cartoon moose has been wrecking stores in downtown Santa Clausa, California. Eyewitnesses describe him as bearing an uncanny resemblance to Bullwinkle, one-time star of the small screen."

"What is moose up to now?" Natasha wonders.

"We go now to Peabody Labs," says the newswoman, "where renowned scientist Hector Peabody has a statement to make about the rogue moose."

"All I can say without revealing too much about the nature of our research is that there are now two Bullwinkles, one kind and gentle, the other ruthlessly evil," the Peabody clone declares.

"Did you hear that, Natasha?" marvels Boris. "Moose now has an evil twin!"

"The evil Bullwinkle is extremely dangerous and stupid," warns the Peabody clone. "He has already killed. If you see him, notify the police immediately. If you hear one of his puns, seek medical attention."

"You must find this evil moose and learn everything he knows," orders Fearless Leader from Boris' watch.

"Consider it done, Fearless Leader." Boris leaps from the couch and makes a sweeping hand gesture. "Quickly, Natasha! To the Badmobile!"

Moments later, Boris and Natasha are cruising along the highway in a souped-up black sedan with rocket motors in the back. "Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah, Badman!" Boris sings as he drives.

Natasha clutched her ears in pain. "Argh! Next time, I pick out the car!"

A short while later, they pass the Bullwinkle clone in his stolen vehicle, going in the other direction. "Boris, wait!" Natasha alerted her comrade. "That was moose!"

"Hmm," muses the Bullwinkle clone. "I've seen those Pottsylvanian spies somewhere before!"

The Bullwinkle clone cuts through the median, turns around, and starts following the Badmobile. Seconds later, he sees a green station wagon go by on the other side of the highway, driven by an attractive she-moose. Distracted, he starts to mumble, "Humina humina humina..."

"Moose is following us!" says Natasha, looking over her shoulder. "Pull over!" Boris slows down the Badmobile and stops on the side of the road.

Seeing that the spy car has come to a halt ahead of him, the Bullwinkle clone pulls over in front of it. Meanwhile, Honeysuckle stops her car half a mile away, and she and Rocky jump out. "Hokey smoke!" exclaims Rocky. "We can't let Bullwinkle's evil clone join forces with Boris and Natasha!"

"Calm down, flyboy," says Honeysuckle. "I have a plan."

"Why am I not surprised?"

At the same time, Bullwinkle and the two police officers are approaching the spot where the Bullwinkle clone has pulled over in front of the Badmobile. "Stop!" Bullwinkle orders. "They mustn't see us!" The squad car pulls over and stops, and Bullwinkle and the two officers hop out.

The Bullwinkle clone climbs out of his stolen car, while Boris and Natasha slip out of the Badmobile, and the three congregate at the side of the road. They are watched by Honeysuckle and Rocky from one side of the road, and Bullwinkle and the officers from the other side; the two parties are unaware of each other's presence.

"I was just on my way to find you guys," says the Bullwinkle clone to Boris.

"And we were on our way to find you," Boris replies cheerfully. "We would like to make you an offer you cannot refuse."

"I can't refuse an offer like that," says the clone.

"Here's what we do," says Honeysuckle, who has hidden behind some trees with Rocky. "I throw you into the air, then you start flying around, but make sure Boris and Natasha see you. That way they'll think you're spying on them, and that the evil Bullwinkle is really the good Bullwinkle."

"Aye aye, mon capitan," says Rocky with a quick salute. Honeysuckle then hurls him into the air with a mighty grunt, and he starts to glide on the air currents.

"Come on, officers!" the real Bullwinkle urges the two cops. "We've got to stop my evil duplicate before he leaks any state secrets!"

"You can't be serious!" says the first officer "Don't you know who those two are?"

"Of course I do," says Bullwinkle. "They're Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale."

"They're aides to the Pottsylvanian ambassador," says the second officer. "They have diplomatic immunity. If we try to arrest them, we could start an international incident."

"They're not diplomats!" Bullwinkle insists. "They're spies!"

"You're on your own from here on out," says the first officer, and the two cops climb into their squad car, turn around, and speed away.

"Bah!" grunts Bullwinkle as he watches them go. "Can't tell a spy from a diplomat. How thick can you get?"

High above, Rocky is circling in the air and trying to let Boris and Natasha catch a glimpse of him, but the two are busy plotting with the Bullwinkle clone. Finally Natasha spots something out of the corner of her eye. "Look, up in the sky!" she says, pointing.

"It's a bird!" exclaims Boris.

"It's a plane!" shouts the evil clone.

"It's Superman!" cries Natasha.

"It's Captain Marvel!"

"It's Radioactive Man!"

"It's a Powerpuff Girl!"

"It's Bionic Bunny!"

"No, wait!" says the Bullwinkle clone. "It's Rocky! What's he doing here?"

"Oh, now I see," says Boris suspiciously. "You are not evil moose. You are tryink to trick us!"

"That's not true!" the clone insisted. "I'm totally evil!"

At that moment the real Bullwinkle marches onto the scene, his fists clenched. "Yes," he declares heroically, "and that is why I cannot allow you to betray our country!"

"Unbelievable!" says Natasha in amazement.

"I must be seeink double!" says Boris.

Honeysuckle, watching from behind a tree, slaps her face in exasperation. Rocky watches from the sky in dismay as the two Bullwinkles confront each other.

"You killed Mr. Peabody!" growls the real Bullwinkle, advancing menacingly. "Now I'll make you pay!"

The clone suddenly points into the sky. "Look! A pterodactyl!"

"Huh?" Bullwinkle looks up, but all he sees is Rocky floating around. When he lowers his eyes again, he discovers that Boris, Natasha, and the clone have jumped into the Badmobile and started the rocket motors. He stands in front of the supercharged vehicle and tries to stop it as it pulls onto the highway, but it rams him forcefully and knocks him to the ground.

Rocky gasps in horror. "Hokey smoke! Bullwinkle!"

Honeysuckle rushes across the highway while Rocky glides to the ground, and the two hurry to the side of their fallen comrade.

"Are you all right, old pal?" asks Rocky, but the prostrate moose doesn't answer.

"He's alive," says Honeysuckle as she takes Bullwinkle's pulse. "Good. I'm going to kill him."

Bullwinkle opens his eyes groggily and tries to sit up, but pain prevents him. "Wh-where am I? Who am I?" he stammers deliriously.

"You're Bullwinkle the Moose," Rocky replies.

"Oh, right," says the moose. "I knew it was something that started with B."

"As much as I'd rather leave you at the side of the road to die," says Honeysuckle peevishly, "we should get you to a hospital."

"What'd I ever do to you?" Bullwinkle asks her.

"Thanks to your meddling," Honeysuckle informs him, "Boris and Natasha just escaped with your evil duplicate!"

_**Oh, the horror! Could this mean the end of the U.S. intelligence advantage over Pottsylvania? Find out in our next episode, "The Spy Who Looked Like Me", or, "All Your Face Are Belong to Us"!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Meanwhile, at Peabody Labs, Sherman and the duplicate of Mr. Peabody are working feverishly to repair the Dublinator.**_

"A few more connections and it should be ready, Mr. Peabody.," says Sherman, who is wearing an eye visor and applying a welding torch to the Dublinator's circuits.

The phone rings. The Peabody clone, who is looking through a microscope at some tissue samples, goes to the wall and picks it up. "Peabody Labs, Mr. Peabody's clone speaking."

He hears Bullwinkle's voice on the other end of the line. "Big trouble, Mr. Peabody! My evil duplicate has joined up with Boris and Natasha!"

The clone's eyes widen with concern. "How do I know you're the real Bullwinkle?" he asks warily. "Is Rocky with you?"

The Badmobile, driven by Boris, is speeding down the highway toward Santa Clausa. In the back seat of the fancy vehicle, the Bullwinkle clone is talking on a cell phone. "Uh, Rocky? Yeah, he's here." He hands the cell phone to Natasha, who is in the passenger seat. She speaks into it and imitates Rocky's voice.

"Mr. Peabody, I think Boris and Natasha are plotting with the evil Bullwinkle clone to break into your lab and steal the Dublinator," she warns.

"We can't allow that to happen," says the Peabody clone. "If they get their hands on the Dublinator, they'll be able to create an evil duplicate of anybody!"

"Then you figured out what went wrong when you cloned Bullwinkle?" asked Natasha, still imitating Rocky.

"Yes, Sherman traced it to an intermittent problem in the flux discharge filters. He turned it into a feature."

As the Peabody duplicate speaks into the phone, Sherman snaps the cover onto the Dublinator's control panel. It now has an additional switch with two settings, GOOD and EVIL.

"You'd better hide the machine right away," suggests Natasha in her Rocky voice.

"I know of a secret storage facility in the sub-basement of an office building," says the Peabody clone. "They'll never look for it there."

"Give me directions, and we'll meet you there," Natasha requests.

"All right. If you go north on Interstate 5..." The Peabody clone pauses. "Wait, there's a call on the other line."

He pushes a button on the receiver to take the incoming call. To his surprise, Rocky's voice comes through. "Big trouble, Mr. Peabody! The evil Bullwinkle duplicate has joined up with Boris and Natasha!"

Dumbfounded, the Peabody duplicate slowly hangs up the phone. At the side of the highway to Corpus Crusty, two paramedics have placed the real Bullwinkle on a stretcher and are loading him into the back of an ambulance. Nearby, Rocky is holding a cell phone to his ear as Honeysuckle stands next to him. "He hung up!" he states.

"Call him again," Honeysuckle instructs him. "If my guess is correct, he and Sherman are in grave danger!"

Meanwhile, in the Badmobile, Natasha lowers the cell phone from her ear. "He hung up on me!" she complains.

"Do you think he suspects you?" asks the Bullwinkle clone.

"Impossible," says Boris. "Natasha's impersonation of Rocky was perfect."

"What do you expect, darlink?" boasts Natasha. "June Foray voices both of us."

"The other call must have been Rocky trying to warn him about us," observes the evil clone.

"Then it is time for Plan B," says Boris.

"What is Plan B, darlink?" Natasha asks.

In Peabody's lab, the phone on the wall is ringing, but the Peabody clone only stares thoughtfully at it. "Two Bullwinkles...two Rockys...I don't know who I can trust anymore. Sherman, we'll have to hide the Dublinator by ourselves, without telling anyone where it is."

"I'll call for a truck, Mr. Peabody," Sherman offers.

_**Minutes later, the injured Bullwinkle is rushed into the Elmer Fudd Memorial Hospital for Cartoon Characters.**_

Rocky and Honeysuckle follow the paramedics as they roll the stretcher carrying Bullwinkle through a hospital corridor. They pass various grotesquely wounded cartoon characters. Wile E. Coyote is shaped like an accordion after falling off a cliff, Scratchy the Cat holds his severed head in his hands, and the dazed Roger Rabbit has a mouth full of piano keys. A doctor escorts Daffy Duck, whose beak has just been reattached to his face, into the reception area.

"Remember, Daffy," says the doctor, "only soft foods for the next 24 hours. And don't get into any more arguments with Bugs Bunny about whether it's rabbit season or duck season. You can't win."

A clerk hands Daffy a sheet of paper. "Here's your bill, Mr. Duck."

When Daffy looks at his medical bill, his eyes bulge and his beak drops from his face onto the floor.

As Bullwinkle is wheeled into the X-ray room, he reaches up and takes Honeysuckle by the hand. "Promise you'll stop my evil clone," he pleads weakly.

"I promise," Honeysuckle vowed.

Bullwinkle and Honeysuckle gaze wistfully at each other, and soft romantic music begins to play in the background.

Then Honeysuckle grimaces with frustration. "Please let go of my hand, Bullwinkle."

_**Meanwhile, a truck has arrived at Peabody Labs to move the top-secret Dublinator device to an undisclosed location.**_

In front of the lab's loading dock, Sherman and the Peabody clone watch as a truck backs up, making a beeping noise. When it has come to a stop, a short man and a tall woman step out. Both are wearing drab uniforms.

"Allow me to introduce myself," says the short man. "I am Boris Truckenov." He gestures toward the tall woman. "And this is my lovely assistant, Petrushka."

"A pleasure," says the tall woman.

"Truck drivers have lovely assistants?" marvels Sherman.

"Ever since we unionized," replies the short man.

"Haven't I...seen you two somewhere before?" asks the Peabody clone.

"No," answers Truckenov.

Minutes later, the Dublinator has been loaded inside the truck's cargo bay. The short man and tall woman are going over the details of the move with the Peabody clone and Sherman. "You may want to go inside and make sure the ropes are tight enough," Truckenov recommends.

Sherman and the clone walk up the ramp into the truck's cargo hold and inspect the ropes that were tied around the Dublinator to keep it in place. "They look tight enough to me," says the clone.

Suddenly a pair of large hands grab the pair from behind. Within moments, they have been bound, gagged, and laid out on the floor of the cargo hold. Boris, Natasha, and the evil Bullwinkle clone are gloating over them.

"How about now?" asks Boris. "Are they tight enough?"

The Bullwinkle clone laughs maniacally.

_**Will Sherman and Peabody meet their end at the hands of the wicked spies? Don't miss our next heart-pounding episode, "Stuck in the Truck", or, "The Ties that Bind"!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**As Boris, Natasha, and the evil Bullwinkle clone make off with the captive Sherman and Peabody, our heroes--Rocky and Honeysuckle, that is—arrive at the laboratory too late!**_

At the security gate in front of Peabody Labs, Rocky and Honeysuckle are assisting a guard who was knocked unconscious. Honeysuckle is propping up his head with her hand. "It was...a tall woman...and a short man," he groggily recounted. They were driving a truck. I was checking their security passes when someone came up behind me, and the next thing I knew, I was surrounded by singing, dancing lollipops with spindly little arms and legs..."

"Thanks," says Honeysuckle, "that's all we need to know."

The guard grins. "You're kinda cute. Are you part of my dream?"

Honeysuckle withdraws her hand, letting the guard's head drop to the ground.

Moments later, Rocky and Honeysuckle enter the laboratory through the shipping entrance, which was left open. "Sherman? Mr. Peabody?" Rocky calls out. "Where are you guys?"

"It's no use, Rocky," laments Honeysuckle. "They're gone."

"And so is the Dublinator!" exclaims Rocky, seeing a bare wall where the device had stood.

"Hmm," muses Honeysuckle. "If I were a Pottsylvanian spy, and I had just captured two eminent American scientists and a piece of technology that could swing the balance of power in favor of my homeland, where would I go?"

"Pottsylvania!" says Rocky.

"No, too obvious."

_**Meanwhile, at the Corpus Crusty International Airport, Boris, Natasha, and the evil Bullwinkle clone are preparing to transport their prisoners, Sherman and Peabody, to an unknown destination!**_

"We're going to Pottsylvania, darlink," Natasha informs the Narrator. "Where else would we go? The Cold War is over." She gestures toward a flight monitor, which shows that all scheduled flights are from Corpus Crusty to Pottsylvania.

Ahead of the two spies, the Bullwinkle clone is pushing a cart onto which Sherman and Peabody, still bound and gagged, have been strapped. He, Boris, and Natasha pass through several portals. The first is an X-ray, which detects several guns, knives, and bombs in Boris' pockets, but the airport guard waves him on nonetheless. The second is a Moose and Squirrel Detector. When the clone passes through, alarms go off throughout the terminal. About a dozen airport guards, all dressed in overcoats and dark glasses, pull out their guns and point them at the clone, who appears confused.

"Relax, comrades," says Boris with a smile. "Moose is under my hypnotic control."

"Yes, master," drones the Bullwinkle duplicate.

Several of the guards start to frisk the clone, who begins to giggle. "Tee hee! That tickles! Uh, I mean...that tickles, master."

Minutes later, the evil trio arrives at the customs desk. The Bullwinkle clone is still pushing the cart to which Sherman and Peabody are attached. The customs officer is wearing an overcoat and dark glasses. "Anything to declare?" he asks the captives.

"Mmmf mmmf mmmf!" respond Sherman and Peabody.

"Speak up, I can't hear you," says the customs officer

"MMMF MMMF MMMF!"

"Thank you, have a nice flight."

About half an hour later, Rocky and Honeysuckle rush into the terminal and stop in front of the flight monitor, where Rocky reads the flight information. "Hokey smoke!" he exclaims. "The next flight for Pottsylvania leaves in ten minutes!"

"We have to hurry!" says Honeysuckle.

They run through the security checkpoint, but the Moose and Squirrel Detector catches them and sets off an alarm. A horde of airport guards wearing overcoats and dark glasses pull out guns and point them at Rocky and Honeysuckle.

"I've got a plan," says Rocky.

Rocky and Honeysuckle turn around, walk away from the security checkpoint, and return moments later disguised as clowns. The Moose and Squirrel Detector sets off the alarm again, and the airport guards draw their guns.

"I've got another plan," says Rocky.

They leave the security checkpoint, and Honeysuckle comes back clad in a frumpy dress and wig. She holds a bassinet in which Rocky, wearing a baby bonnet, is crying and waving his arms. The detector picks them up again, and the guards draw their guns.

"Third time's a charm," says Rocky confidently.

They leave, then come back. Now Rocky is disguised as a punk rocker, complete with tricolor spiked hair, a nose ring, blaring headphones, and a ragged shirt with the slogan EAT NUTS AND DIE. Honeysuckle, wearing a pink blouse and skirt, a straight blond wig, and a barette, is babbling into a cell phone.

"And I was like, no way! And he was like, no way! And we were both like, no way! And then my mom came in, and she was like, no way!"

The guards point their guns at Honeysuckle. "Stop talking like that or I'll shoot!" one of them barks.

Honeysuckle lowers her cell phone, and Rocky pulls off his headphones. "Now it's my turn to have a plan," says the she-moose.

She grabs Rocky and hurls him over the guards' heads like a football. While he soars down the airport corridor, Honeysuckle lets out a kung fu battle cry and gives one of the armed guards a swift kick in the face. A spectacular fight ensues, as Honeysuckle dodges bullets and rains blows on the attacking guards.

As Rocky is flying toward the departure gate, two middle-aged men, Edgar and Chauncey, watch him zip by with curiosity. "Well, there's something you don't see every day, Chauncey," says Edgar.

"What's that, Edgar?" asks Chauncey.

"A Rocky Mountain Flying Squirrel with protective scales on his head."

Rocky starts to pull off his ragged shirt in mid-flight as he approaches the customs desk. "Anything to decl..." begins the customs officer, but Rocky stuffs the shirt in his mouth and flies away.

Inside the airplane, Boris, Natasha, and the evil Bullwinkle clone are seated together, with the bound-and-gagged Sherman and Peabody occupying the seats in front of them. Across from the captives sits a woman wearing an overcoat and dark glasses, reading an issue of the magazine "Photogenic Famous People".

"Mmmf mmmf mmmf!" mumble the helpless Sherman and Peabody.

"Would you keep it down?" the woman complains. "I'm trying to read."

The flight attendant starts to deliver her routine safety presentation. "Welcome aboard Flight 666, non-stop service from Corpus Crusty to Pottsylvania. Please remember that this is a non-smoking flight. If you are caught smoking during the flight, you will be ejected through the emergency exit nearest you. In the event of a water landing, the captive in the seat in front of you can be used as a flotation device."

Another attendant is shuffling down the aisle, taking note of the passengers' meal preferences. "Chicken, beef, or tofu?" she asks Boris.

"Who wants to know?" is the spy's answer.

Inside the airport, Rocky glides to the floor in front of the departure gate as the unkempt, bedraggled Honeysuckle runs up behind him, but the plane has already taken off from the runway. "Hokey smoke!" cries Rocky. "We're too late!"

The pair hear a man's menacing voice from behind them. "You certainly are."

They turn around to find that the voice came from an airport security guard, who is training a gun on them. Behind him stand fifty more guards, dressed to the last in overcoats and dark glasses. Some of them sport revolvers, some carry machine guns, and at least one is about to light the fuse of a cannon.

The security guard clears his throat and continues. "Wait, let me try again. 'On the contrary, you're right on time.' No, that wasn't good. 'How nice of you to drop...dead.' Ugh! That was the worst. 'You checked in, but you won't check out.' Oh, man, that was awful. 'You're about to find out why they call it a terminal.' No, I can do better than that..."

Suddenly a gunshot rings out. Horrified, Rocky and Honeysuckle examine their bodies and are relieved to find no holes.

The security guard's quest for the perfect rejoinder comes to an end as he falls over on his face, dead. Behind him, a spy woman blows the smoke from her revolver.

"Keel moose and squirrel," she says emotionlessly, and Rocky and Honeysuckle face the business ends of dozens of deadly weapons.

_**Things don't look good for our heroes, but when have they ever? Be sure to see our next death-defying episode, "Fly the Unfriendly Spies", or, "We Have Now Reached a Cruising Altitude of Six Feet Under"!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**It looks like the end for Rocky and his new partner Honeysuckle, who have been cornered in the Corpus Crusty airport by a mob of heavily armed, hostile security officers!**_

At the departure gate, about fifty security guards wearing overcoats and dark glasses, and sporting various types of weapons, are preparing to assassinate Rocky and Honeysuckle. Seeing that the end is near, the she-moose makes an emotional confession. "Rocky, I...won't get another chance to say this, so...before I became an agent, I was a big fan of your show."

"Well...gosh, Honeysuckle," says Rocky coyly.

"But there's more," Honeysuckle admits. "I...liked...Bullwinkle. I really, really liked him. I had dreams where Bullwinkle and I..."

Suddenly the terminal fills with the deafening sound of gunfire and cannonfire as all of the security guards shoot at Rocky and Honeysuckle...

...and just as suddenly, Rocky and Honeysuckle vanish into thin air.

They find themselves floating and spinning in the middle of an endlessly spiraling shaft of light. The environs of the airport have completely disappeared.

"Hokey smoke! Are we in heaven?" Rocky marvels.

"No, it looks more like some kind of time warp," remarks Honeysuckle.

"Hokey smoke! Are we in heaven?"

"Don't get cute with me, flyboy."

Looking around, they find that they are not alone in the strange, glowing void. "Mr. Peabody!" Rocky exclaims.

"We seem to have been pulled into a time-space vortex," says the spinning, floating canine scientist. "Where were you before this happened?"

"We were about to get our collective moose cooked by a small army of overzealous airport guards," Honeysuckle answers. "What about you?"

"A clone of Bullwinkle fried me with a molecular destabilizer," Peabody explains.

"Then you're the original Peabody," Rocky realizes. "We thought you were dead."

"Indeed," says Peabody. "Someone has yanked us out of time just before the moment of death...but who?"

As if to answer his question, the time warp fades away, dropping Rocky, Honeysuckle, and Peabody onto the bare wooden floor of a room. They stand up and try to get their bearings, and Rocky lets out a horrified gasp. "Omigosh...I've been here before!"

Then they hear a man's insane laughter from behind them. Whirling about, they see three other individuals in the room. One is Sherman, who appears unharmed. One is the duplicate Peabody, who is hanging his head in shame. The third is a uniformed man with a scar and monocle on his face, gripping a machine gun in his hands and laughing triumphantly.

Honeysuckle clenches her fists. "Fearless Leader!" she snarls.

"Muwahahaha!" laughs the dreaded spymaster. "Welcome, my friends...to the world I created for you!" He is standing next to an electronic device, about the height of a child, with various dials and gauges on the front.

Overwhelmed by anger, Honeysuckle marches toward him. "You'd better shoot me right now, because I'm going to kick your sorry Pottsylvanian..."

"No!" The Peabody clone leaps into her path and sticks out his paws. "I just betrayed my country to save your life, and I won't let you throw it away!"

"What?" exclaim Rocky, Honeysuckle, and Peabody in unison.

"This is all my fault," says the despondent Peabody clone. "You tell them, Sherman. I don't have the strength."

Sherman steps forward and speaks solemnly. "After we arrived in Pottsylvania, Fearless Leader used the Dublinator to create an evil duplicate of the Peabody clone. But the duplicate was a copy of a copy, so he only lasted a few minutes."

"So that was the reason!" muses Fearless Leader.

"After that," Sherman continues, "Fearless Leader thought the Dublinator was useless, so he decided to kill us both. That's when the Peabody clone made a bargain with him."

The Peabody duplicate puts his paws over his eyes and shakes his head miserably.

Sherman gestures toward the electronic gadget. "He offered to build a time-travel device, on the condition that Fearless Leader agreed to spare my life and transport the three of you here so you wouldn't be killed in the past."

"How could I refuse?" gloats Fearless Leader. "I wanted all of you alive...so you could witness my final victory!"

"And what did you do with your ill-gotten time-travel device, Fearless Leader?" Honeysuckle inquires.

"The evil Bullwinkle clone and I traveled back to the year 1925, where we warned the Fearless Leader of that time about the coming Great Depression," the spymaster recounts. "The Pottsylvanians exchanged all of their currency for precious metals, so that when the Depression hit, they would be able to take over the world economy!"

"Hokey smoke!" exclaim Rocky, Honeysuckle, and Peabody in unison.

Fearless Leader grabs the time-travel device under one arm, and waves his machine gun with the other. "Now march!" he orders. "Let us leave my office and see how much the Pottsylvanians have improved the world in the past seventy-five years!"

Rocky, Honeysuckle, and Peabody trudge helplessly toward the exit door, glowering at the Peabody clone as they pass.

"How could you do such a thing?" Rocky chides him.

"I wish you'd left us dead!" Honeysuckle laments.

"You're no clone of mine!" growls the real Peabody.

As Fearless Leader follows Rocky, Honeysuckle, Sherman, and the two Peabodys out of his office, he finds to his surprise that the room has been cordoned off. Mounted on a nearby wall is a plaque that hadn't been there before, containing a list of all the Fearless Leaders up to 1929.

"It's...it's a museum!" he cries in astonishment.

Rocky is standing in front of an audio exhibit with a sign that says, PRESS BUTTON TO HEAR A RECORDINK OF IGOR ROTTENOV, THE LAST FEARLESS LEADER. Curious, he presses the button, and a scratchy, threatening voice intones, "We will bury the capitalist pigs!"

"That voice...it's Rottenov!" Fearless Leader reflects. "I spoke with him only an hour ago! But why was he the last Fearless Leader? Who replaced him?"

A Pottsylvanian man steps up to the group. He is wearing an overcoat, dark glasses, a badge identifying him as a tour guide, and a pair of fake plastic antlers on his head. His eyes are glazed and emotionless.

"You will please hand over your weapon, sir," he says in a monotone. "Museum patrons are not allowed to carry weapons. Furthermore, the fact that you don't know who replaced the Fearless Leaders proves that you haven't been re-educated."

"Re-educated?" Fearless Leader repeats. "What do you mean?"

The tour guide presses a button on his wristwatch. "You are freethinkers," he drones. "You must be taken to the re-education center."

"This is getting weirder all the time," says Rocky.

Suddenly the halls of the museum are filled with armed Pottsylvanians, each wearing the same fake antlers and glazed expression as the tour guide. About twenty of them form a circle around Fearless Leader and his captives. Seeing that resistance is useless, Fearless Leader drops his machine gun and time-travel device, and puts up his hands.

"You are enemies of the Antlered One," declares the tour guide. "You must be re-educated."

"The Antlered One?" says Honeysuckle with surprise.

Fearless Leader gapes. "Bullwinkle!"

"You have spoken the forbidden name!" exclaims the tour guide. "Away with them at once!"

As the armed guards escort Fearless Leader, Rocky, Honeysuckle, Sherman, and the two Peabodys toward the museum exit, a mother and her little boy walk by. The mother has a glazed expression like the other Pottsylvanians.

"Mommy, what are those people with guns going to do?" asks the little boy.

"Mine is not to question why," intones the mother.

Once they reach the sidewalk in front of the museum, Rocky and the others receive the shock of their lives. The street is crowded with drivers and pedestrians who appear to be in hypnotic trances. Tall buildings line the street, and to every wall is attached an enormous poster bearing the stern-looking visage of...Bullwinkle.

"What a fool I was!" laments Fearless Leader. "I thought he was lost, so I left him behind. But he was secretly plotting to take over Pottsylvania before Pottsylvania took over the world!"

"What did you expect?" says Honeysuckle. "He's more evil than you are!"

Moments later a police wagon pulls up, and the guards force Rocky and the others into the back, where they are handcuffed. One of the guards hands the time-travel device to the driver of the vehicle. The wagon carries them through the streets of alternate Pottsylvania to a building that looks like a huge library. The police officers lead Rocky and the others through the front entrance, which is framed by two towering gold statues of Bullwinkle. The staff of the re-education center, also wearing fake antlers, speak not a word as they strap Rocky and the others to gurneys, pry their eyelids open with clamps, and place gags over their mouths. In front of each prisoner hangs a TV monitor on which Bullwinkle, wearing a gray uniform, speaks the same words over and over in an endless loop.

"You are a subject of the Antlered One. You will obey the Antlered One in all things. You are a subject of the Antlered One..."

Rocky realizes too late that the repetitive TV broadcast is being accompanied by mind-numbing Idiot Waves--a technology which Fearless Leader had tried to unleash on America by buying up all the cable channels, only to be thwarted in the end. Rocky struggles to resist, but he can feel his mind slipping...

Ten minutes later, a re-education staffer switches off the TV broadcast, removes the gags and clamps from the faces of Rocky, Honeysuckle, Fearless Leader, Sherman, and the two Peabodys, and unfastens their straps so they can stand. All of them have glazed expressions on their faces.

"The Antlered One commands you to report to the work office to receive your assignments," the staffer informs them.

"We obey the Antlered One," they all intone in unison.

_**Do I need to say it? Don't miss our next thrilling episode, "Slave the Day", or, "All Brainwashed Up"!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**_Ladies and gentlemen, I've been narrating Rocky and Bullwinkle for a long time, and I've seen lots of cliffhangers, but frankly, I don't know how our heroes will get out of this one. Not only have their enemies succeeded in altering the timeline and transforming the world into a mind-controlled dystopia, but now they, themselves, have been brainwashed as well! Yes, Rocky, Honeysuckle, Sherman, Mr. Peabody, Mr. Peabody's duplicate, and even Fearless Leader have become drones in a totalitarian nightmare state! We might as well end the story now, except that there's one person they haven't assimilated yet. Me! Yes, the Narrator! The time has come for me to step out from behind the microphone and take up arms against this monstrous tyranny, and by opposing, end it! I will overcome! I will...hey, who are you? What are you doing? Keep away from me! No, don't...aaaargh! I am a subject of the Antlered One..._**

Through the cavernous hallways of the re-education center march Rocky, Honeysuckle, Sherman, Fearless Leader, and the two Peabodys, all of whom have blank, emotionless stares like those of the four staffers who are accompanying them to the work office.

As they pass by a room littered with electronic equipment, Honeysuckle takes a quick glance inside and sees two nerdy-looking scientists examining Fearless Leader's time-travel device with handheld probes. She then turns her gaze forward again. Fearless Leader, however, has noticed her rather unzombielike behavior. The two enemies look at each other through the corners of their eyes while continuing to trudge robotically along...

"NOW!" bellows Fearless Leader.

Moving like lightning, Honeysuckle and Fearless Leader dispatch the four staffers with well-placed karate blows; the battle is over in less than two seconds. Then they face each other proudly, but suspiciously.

"Why weren't you brainwashed?" asks Fearless Leader.

"I conditioned my mind to resist Idiot Waves during my second year of agent training," the she-moose explains. "What about you?"

"I invented Idiot Waves," boasts the spymaster with a smirk.

"No, you didn't," says Honeysuckle incredulously. "Your scientists did."

"But I gave them inspiration."

Rocky, Sherman, and the two Peabodys, all genuinely brainwashed, stare at Honeysuckle and Fearless Leader with fear in their eyes. "The re-education has failed," drones Rocky. "You must be destroyed!"

Honeysuckle raises her fists mockingly. "Are you volunteering? Bring it on, flyboy."

Rather than fight, Rocky flees down a corridor, followed by Sherman and the two Peabodys. "They will bring reinforcements," predicts Fearless Leader.

"So, Fearless," says Honeysuckle, "what do you say we put our differences aside and work together to save the world?"

"Never!" Infuriated, Fearless Leader slugs Honeysuckle in the nose, knocking her onto her back. The she-moose jumps to her feet, dusts herself off, and rubs her bruised nose.

"How about now?" she says calmly.

"Okay."

In the electronics room, the two nerdy scientists are studying the time-travel device. "It's a technology I've never seen before," remarks the first nerd.

"We must take it before the Antlered One," declares the second nerd. "He is all-wise."

"Hand it over!" bellows Honeysuckle as she charges into the room alongside Fearless Leader. The two nerds assume defensive postures.

"It's only fair to warn you," says the first nerd, "I have a Ph.D. in electrical engineering!"

Honeysuckle and Fearless Leader make short work of the nerds, karate-chopping them into unconsciousness. Then they both grab the time-travel device at the same time, and try to yank it away from each other.

"I know what you're thinking, Fearless," says Honeysuckle. "You want to go back to 1925 by yourself, kill the Bullwinkle clone, and go forward with your original plan. But what makes you think that future will be any better than this one?"

For the first time in recorded history, fear manifests itself in Fearless Leader's face.

Honeysuckle smiles elatedly. "Good. We're finally starting to understand one another."

Fearless Leader releases his grasp on the time-travel device, and Honeysuckle pulls it away from him...just as a half-dozen armed guards with fake antlers burst into the room, followed by Rocky, Sherman, and the two Peabodys. "That device belongs to the Antlered One!" shouts one of the guards.

Desperate, Honeysuckle glances around the gadget-filled room in hopes of finding an escape route. Then she looks out the door...and sees something that may be useful. Tossing the time-travel device into Fearless Leader's hands, she punches her way past two of the guards, while the other four attack Fearless Leader and try to wrest the device from him.

"Wait! Don't leave me!" the spymaster calls after her.

Once outside the electronics room, Honeysuckle rushes over to a life-size oak statue of Bullwinkle in his Antlered One uniform. Slicing off its head with a precise karate chop, she drags what remains of the statue into the room where the guards have seized the time-travel device and are pointing their guns at Fearless Leader.

"He cannot be re-educated," the brainwashed Rocky tells the guards. "Destroy him!"

"Stop!" yells Honeysuckle.

All eyes turn to the front of the room. Rocky, Sherman, the two Peabodys, Fearless Leader, and the guards see a wooden statue of their ruler and tyrant, its head replaced by Honeysuckle's, who is hiding the rest of her body behind it.

She imitates Bullwinkle as she speaks. "Duh, I am the Antlered One, and you are my subjects. You must obey my every command."

Everyone gazes at Honeysuckle and her statue disguise in astonished reverence. Two guards start whispering to each other. "I don't think that's really the Antlered One," says the first guard.

"But what if it is?" wonders the second guard.

"Good point," whispers the first guard, who then speaks out loud. "Command us, great and wise Antlered One, and we will obey!"

"Release that man, and give him the device!" orders Honeysuckle in her Bullwinkle voice. The guards quickly comply, handing the time-travel device back to Fearless Leader and lowering their weapons.

"You are now free from my evil hypnotic influence," Honeysuckle proclaims, still impersonating Bullwinkle.

Everyone who has been brainwashed stares at her in confusion.

"Snap out of it, you stupid gits!" she says impatiently in her own voice.

As soon as she speaks, Rocky, Sherman, the Peabodys, and the guards start to look around in wonderment. Emotion returns to their faces, and life to their eyes.

"I'm free!" exults the first guard. "I can think again!"

"We must overthrow the evil moose dictator!" declares the second guard.

"Let's form a resistance cell!" suggests the third guard.

"No, let's form a rock band!" the fourth guard chimes in.

While the guards debate how to use their newfound liberty, Rocky, Sherman, and the two Peabodys gather around Honeysuckle and Fearless Leader, who are preparing the time-travel device for use. "When I press this button," explains Fearless Leader, "we will all be transported to the exact point in time when I left 1925 Pottsylvania."

"Let's get the heck out of this timeline," says Rocky eagerly.

Fearless Leader punches the button. Before they know it, he, Rocky, Honeysuckle, Sherman, and the Peabodys are standing on a cracked sidewalk that runs along a poorly maintained street. A Model T rolls by, while men and women wearing 1920's fashions stroll past the various shopfronts--Ivan's Spy Supply, Trenchcoats-R-Us, Spybucks Coffee.

"Hokey smoke!" Rocky marvels. "It's the roaring 20's!"

"I've been to this time," says Peabody. "I like to call it the 'boring 20's'."

Honeysuckle pulls the cover from the back of her cell phone and starts to fiddle with it. "What are you doing?" Sherman asks her. "You won't get cellular service here."

"My cell phone also acts as a radio transmitter," Honeysuckle explains. "Fearless, go to Rottenov's HQ with the time-travel device and warn him about the Bullwinkle clone. The rest of us will join you in a few minutes."

"Why should I take orders from you?" asks Fearless Leader petulantly.

Honeysuckle raises a fist. "Do as I say, or fear won't be the only thing you're incapable of!"

Fearless Leader's expression of steely resolve melts. "I will go and find Rottenov," he offers. "The rest of you, stay here." He runs off with the time-travel device under his arm.

Having activated the transmitter in her cell phone, Honeysuckle speaks into it. "To any U.S. intelligence agents who may be receiving this transmission. The Pottsylvanians are conspiring to hoard precious metals, cause a global depression, and take control of the world economy. They must be stopped. I repeat, they must be stopped!"

"So much for Fearless Leader's plan," says Rocky with relief.

"I wouldn't count him out yet," says the Peabody clone.

"Look!" cries Sherman, pointing down the street. A block away, several Pottsylvanian military police officers armed with rifles are running in their direction.

"Radios are verboten!" shouts one of the officers. "You are under arrest!"

"Run, you lot!" orders Honeysuckle, lowering her cell phone.

She takes off down the street, followed by Rocky, Sherman, and the Peabodys, with the military officers in pursuit. Soon they come to an intersection that leads to a bridge over a turbulent river. "Over the bridge!" she instructs the others. "I'll drop my cell phone in the river so they won't have any evidence!"

She and the others run to the middle of the narrow, primitive bridge, which lacks any kind of guardrail. As Honeysuckle tosses her cell phone into the rapids, the Peabody clone confronts his original, who is standing on the edge of the bridge and looking over the river. While everyone else is looking at Honeysuckle, he speaks quietly. "Excuse me, Mr. Peabody, but I need to make a clone fall."

And then the Peabody clone shoves the original Peabody over the edge of the bridge. The hapless dog plunges toward the waves, screaming.

"Great Scott! My clone!" cries the Peabody clone in mock horror.

Honeysuckle, Sherman, and Rocky hurry to the clone's side, and gaze in unbelieving shock at the river below. Peabody is thrashing about frantically, as one strong wave after another sweeps over him. His glasses have been washed from his face, and are sinking to the bottom.

"What happened?" asks the horrified Sherman.

"He jumped!" claims the Peabody clone. "I guess he couldn't live with the guilt of having betrayed his country!"

"We've got to do something...or he'll drown!" exclaims Rocky.

**_Will our heroes save Mr. Peabody from the raging river? Find out by watching our next exciting episode, "Out of the Depths", or, "Dead Dogs Tell No Tails"!_**


	9. Chapter 9

_**In our last gripping episode, Mr. Peabody was pushed into a raging river by his clone, who is now pretending to be the original!**_

Rocky, Honeysuckle, Sherman, and the Peabody clone are standing on the edge of an old bridge, watching in horror as Peabody dog-paddles furiously in a futile effort to keep his head above the swirling rapids. "Someone's got to jump in and save him," says the Peabody clone, "and I can't swim!"

"I don't have my swimming goggles!" says Sherman.

"I'm too heavy!" says Honeysuckle. "I'd sink to the bottom!"

"Then it's up to me!" says Rocky.

Leaping from the bridge, Rocky glides down to the surface of the river and flies swiftly toward the imperiled Peabody. Meanwhile, three Pottsylvanian military police officers surround Honeysuckle, Sherman, and the Peabody clone, rifles drawn. "You are all under arrest," barks the first MP. "Give me the radio!"

Honeysuckle shrugs. "What radio?"

"Come to think of it," reflects the second MP, "whatever she had in her hand was much too small to be a radio."

"Then it was a microphone," says the third MP.

"A microphone without a wire?" the second MP chides him. "You read too many science fiction books."

"Shut up, both of you!" ordered the first MP. Bowing to Honeysuckle, he says, "My apologies, madam."

"Save your apologies," says Honeysuckle, pointing toward Rocky and Peabody. "My friend is drowning! Can any of you swim?"

Meanwhile, Rocky has reached Peabody and is struggling to lift him out of the river, but his strength is failing. "Must...pull..harder..." he gasps. Suddenly a towering wave crashes down on him, flinging him into the rapids. Now he, along with Peabody, is being swept along helplessly by the current. The Peabody clone observes this with a sinister, satisfied smirk.

"Oh, no! Rocky!" cries Sherman.

"I can swim," boasts the first MP. "I would have competed in the Olympic Games as part of the Pottsylvanian aquatic team if not for the draft."

"Then get your butt in the river and save them!" Honeysuckle orders.

Without hesitation, the MP strips down to his undershirt, drops his uniform onto the bridge, and dives gracefully into the angry river. As Honeysuckle, Sherman, and the other two MPs race along the riverbank, the MP swimmer draws closer and closer to Rocky and Peabody with his powerful strokes. In less than a minute, he has grasped the two under his arm and paddled to shore.

"They're safe!" Honeysuckle beholds to her relief.

"Hey, where's Mr. Peabody?" says Sherman, looking around.

Two of the MPs apply mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to revive Rocky and Peabody, who cough and sputter vigorously. Once Peabody becomes lucid, Honeysuckle addresses him. "I know you feel bad about betraying your country, but that was no reason to jump in the river."

"What?" says Peabody incredulously. "I didn't betray my country, my clone did! And I didn't jump, he pushed me!"

Honeysuckle, Sherman, and Rocky gasp in surprise.

"You mean...you're the real Mr. Peabody?" Sherman realizes. "And your clone tried to kill you?"

"I was a fool not to suspect him," Peabody laments. "He was evil all along, but unlike the Bullwinkle clone, he was smart enough to hide it until an opportunity arose. A good clone of me would never betray his country!"

"An evil Peabody clone on the loose?" marvels Honeysuckle. "Then the danger is even greater!"

"We must get to Rottenov's headquarters, quickly!" barks Peabody.

* * *

Inside the office of Igor Rottenov, the Fearless Leader of 1925 is consulting with the present Fearless Leader, who is still clutching the time-travel device. Rottenov is a blond, overweight man with a scar and monocle. "Your concern is unwarranted," he assures the other Fearless Leader. "My headquarters is guarded by a team of utterly ruthless trained killers. Your moose friend will never make it past the reception area."

Suddenly the Bullwinkle clone rushes through the door, clutching a machine gun. "Stick 'em up, both of you!" he commands. Fearless Leader rests the time-travel device on the floor, and he and Rottenov both put their hands up.

"How did you get in here?" Rottenov inquires.

"I disguised myself as a potted fern," the clone explains.

Rottenov shakes his head in disbelief. "That should not have worked!"

The evil Bullwinkle duplicate trains his gun on Rottenov's chest. "Once I kill you, by right of ascendancy, I will become the new Fearless Leader. Say your prayers, Rottenov!"

"But I do not believe in God," Rottenov points out.

"Then you'll be awful lonely where you're going," says the evil moose.

Before he can pull the trigger, the evil Peabody clone appears behind him, pointing a revolver at his rear end. "Drop it or I'll blow your brains out!" he orders.

Seeing no way to escape, the Bullwinkle clone drops his machine gun and sticks up his hands.

"Another one?" Rottenov marvels. "How did you get in here?"

"I constructed a catapult out of bull rushes," replies the Peabody clone.

"Oh, that's so lame!" groans the Bullwinkle clone.

"As you can clearly observe, Rottenov," says the Peabody clone, "I am possessed of a vastly superior intellect combined with a complete lack of moral scruples. Under my leadership, Pottsylvania will enter a new age of prosperity, technological advancement, and--need I say it?--world domination. Transfer the office of Fearless Leader to me willingly, and I will spare your life."

Rottenov waves his hand about. "You want my office? It's yours! I hate the color scheme anyway."

A young female receptionist pokes her head in the door. "A swarm of locusts here to see you, sir," she announces.

"Do they have an appointment?" asks Rottenov.

Rocky, Honeysuckle, Sherman, and Peabody march into Rottenov's office, wearing grasshopper costumes and brandishing tommy guns. "Drop your weapons and put your hands up!" Honeysuckle barks. The Peabody clone drops his revolver and slowly raises his hands.

"The charade is over," says Peabody, glowering at his evil clone. "I know what you really are now."

"Go ahead, shoot me," says the clone defiantly. "At least I'll die with dignity, and not wearing some ridiculous costume."

"As much as I loathe and despise you," says Peabody, "I believe in the sanctity of all life and in the ideals embodied by the American system of justice. You will return to the future with us, where you will be tried for your foul deeds by an impartial jury..."

While Peabody makes his long-winded speech, his evil clone suddenly lunges toward the time-travel device, knocking it over and rolling along the floor while grasping it tightly in his arms. Rocky and his friends point their tommy guns at him, but he jumps to his feet and shields himself with the device.

"Don't shoot!" cries Peabody. "You'll destroy the time-travel device!"

"Yes," gloats his clone, "and then you'll be trapped in the past forever! Muwahahaha...AAAAAARGH!"

A gunshot is heard. The Peabody clone screams in pain, drops the undamaged time-travel device, and collapses to the floor, clutching his wounded foot. Honeysuckle blows the smoke from the muzzle of her tommy gun.

"Hokey smoke!" says Rocky in astonishment. "How'd you do that?"

"Ever hear of something called target practice?" replies the unruffled she-moose.

While Peabody picks up a nearby rope and goes to tie up his injured clone and attend to his wound, Honeysuckle, Rocky, and Sherman, still dressed like grasshoppers, point their weapons at the Bullwinkle clone. "Fearless, program the time-travel device to take us back to our own year," Honeysuckle orders. "Bullwinkle clone, you're coming too. Don't try any funny stuff."

"You mean like this?" The evil moose stretches his lips with his fingers, revealing all of his teeth, and waves his tongue about. His pupils roll around in the whites of his eyes.

Honeysuckle starts to laugh riotously. While she is distracted, the Bullwinkle clone jumps forward and knocks the tommy gun from her hands with a mighty swipe of his antlers. Honeysuckle deftly counters with a side kick, knocking the villainous moose onto the floor. As Rocky and Sherman point their tommy guns in his direction, Honeysuckle motions for them to stand back. "Leave him to me," she instructs them. "You two have such lousy aim, you'd probably hit me instead of him."

The battle is joined. The Bullwinkle clone clambers to his feet and charges at Honeysuckle, who leaps out of his path. He smashes into the wall...and keeps going. Honeysuckle pursues him through the newly created hole.

They are now on the thatched roof of Rottenov's HQ, exchanging kicks and punches. What the Bullwinkle clone lacks in martial arts prowess, he makes up for in dumb luck, dodging most of Honeysuckle's attacks by hopping back and forth while waving his head. "Will you hold still so I can knock you out?" Honeysuckle urges him.

"Knock me out?" boasts the evil moose. "My skull is so thick, you'd have to drop a ton of bricks on me to knock me out!"

Knowing what will inevitably follow, Honeysuckle jumps out of the way.

A pallet of bricks plunges from the sky, landing directly on top of the Bullwinkle clone's head. So great is its momentum that it crashes through five stories of the building and comes to rest on the bottom floor, with the moose flattened underneath it.

After descending five flights of stairs, Honeysuckle finds the Bullwinkle clone semi-conscious and delirious, buried underneath a pile of strewn bricks. "Humina humina humina..." he mumbles.

Honeysuckle grins. "It works every time."

_**

* * *

Moments later, our heroes arrive in the present day along with the captured evil duplicates!**_

The time-travel device appears, accompanied by Rocky, Honeysuckle, Sherman, Peabody, and Fearless Leader. The evil Bullwinkle and Peabody clones are bound hand and foot, and one of the Peabody clone's feet is bandaged. Rocky and his friends are still toting their tommy guns. They have landed in the middle of a grassy field in Neutrylvania, a neutral country that borders Pottsylvania.

"I'm impressed," Honeysuckle says to Fearless Leader. "You kept your word for once."

"I was afraid we'd end up in a Pottsylvanian dungeon," says Rocky.

"It was the least I could do for such a worthy adversary," says Fearless Leader.

"Do you mean me, or him?" asks Honeysuckle, gesturing toward Rocky.

"Stand back, everyone," Peabody warns his friends. Aiming his tommy gun at the time-travel device, he riddles the delicate circuitry with bullets.

"Better luck with your next scheme, Fearless," Honeysuckle encourages the spymaster.

"I'll be back!" vows Fearless Leader, who then walks away toward the Pottsylvanian border, grumbling bitterly.

"The airport should be that way," says Peabody, pointing.

_**Upon arriving at the Neutrylvanian International Airport, our heroes board a plane and return to the United States. They find Bullwinkle waiting for them at DDEWHD headquarters.**_

Rocky, Honeysuckle, Sherman, and Peabody are chatting with Bullwinkle, who has recovered from his injuries. "They drew three new ribs for me, and I was good as new," the moose relates.

"I wish you could've come along, Bullwinkle," says Rocky. "It was quite an adventure."

"Yeah, but you did just fine without me," says Bullwinkle sadly.

"It was only that one mission, bully boy," says Honeysuckle reassuringly. "From now on, you and Rocky will work together again. Of course, I'll tag along from time to time."

"I know I'm taking it harder than I should," Bullwinkle admits. "You see, Rocky and I have been partners ever since...ever since we were drawn, and when I found out I'd been replaced, it...it hit me like a ton of bricks."

Rocky, Honeysuckle, Sherman, and Peabody suddenly flee in terror.

"Huh? Where'd they all go?"

THE END


End file.
